I feel ugly.

Anytime I see a picture of myself that's the first things that pops in my mind "I look ugly". Sometimes I can´t handle how much I hate the way I look. And I don't belive in anyone that tell me otehrwise. "They migth be lying, they just want to be nice, they just want me to feel better but they're lying, they want something from me, they just feel lonely and my ugly ass looks easy to impress and easy to get because I look like  loser that has nothing and no one thanks to how ugly I am. People feel sorry for me, anytime they say something good about my face is because they just want to be nice"

How come, that years passed, and I have the same mindset about my apearence that when I was 13. I´ts been more than a decade, I thougth i will had figured out how to be less bitchy with myself. I feel like no mather from who it comes, any cumpliment is just a lie. Why they´re lying to me? They don't have to lie to me like that, i still like them. Why would anyone like me because of my looks? It make no sense. Have you really seen me? Are you somehow blind or sum?

I think it is just matter of time that people will stop lying to me. I do not trust anyone that think's I'm pretty, bc that's some bullshit. I have seen myself in the mirror an i am just not that gurl. I am not.

I HATE EVERYTHING ABOUT MYSELF I HATE THE STUPID, ANOYING, UGLY BITCH I AM. I JUST WANT TO FEEL PEACE WHENEVER I AM ALONE AND NOT FEEL THIS DISGUST I HAVE TOWORDS ME. 

I HATE TO FEEL LIKE EVERYBODY IS LYING TO ME AND THINK EACH ONE OF THE PEOPLE THAT KNOWS ME HATE ME. I JUST WANT TO FEEL OK, I HATE IT IN HERE, ANYTIME I AM BY MYSELF I JUST WANT TO BE A HANGING BODY SOMEWHERE AND I DONT EVEN HAVE A VALID REASON TO FEEL THIS MUCH.

I HAVE SO MUCH MORE THAN BEFORE BUT I STILL HATE ME WITH ALL MY HEART. I CANT HELP BUT KEEP HAVING THIS INSANE RAGE ANYTIME I SEE MYSELF